Leave a Comment
There is something very strange about Keanu Reeves that must be addressed. Has any actor in Hollywood aged better than the John Wick star?
Have you ever wondered how he has kept his youthful, rugged looks over a career spanning nearly more than 30 years? Perhaps the secret is that Keanu Reeves simply does not age at all.
Perhaps you find the idea of Keanu Reeves as an immortal being as ridiculous and convoluted as the plot of the Matrix sequels, but this theory is no laughing matter. In fact, signs of the Matrix actor’s eternal youth has been right in front of us for centuries, and only those with keen eyes have been savvy enough to notice.
It is time to attack this conundrum head on, as I will present, explain and over-analyze the known evidence to support this theory in the following investigative piece. Soon, we should figure out once and for all the truth: is Keanu Reeves immortal?
Clue #1: Keanu Reeves Has Assumed Multiple Identities Throughout History
Keanu Reeves’ name has been a subject of fascination on its own. It is such a unique “movie star” kind of name, it sounds as if it could be made up. That is precisely what it is.
While Keanu Reeves claims to have been born on September 2, 1964 in Beirut, Lebanon, further investigation suggests that Reeves may have been born as early as 742 A.D. in Germany when it was still called Francia. It was there when he would rule the Frankish kingdom and later succeed the throne of the Holy Roman Empire as Charlemagne.
According to the official investigative website, Keanu Reeves is Immortal, other than Keanu Reeves’ striking resemblance to the ancient emperor (facial hair pattern, signature eye squint, and all), the history of Charlemagne’s reign provides deeper insight into how the actor meticulously kept his eternal youth a secret.
Charlemagne’s son, Louis the Pious, succeeded the throne almost immediately before his death in 800 A.D. It is almost as if he knew that he was going to “die,” which suggests that he was planning to fake his death the entire time.
As the theory suggests, after his supposed death, “Charlemagne” managed to maintain his anonymity for more than another 1,000 years - a relatively safe route when wanting to avoid being recognized. By the late 19th century, the actor we now refer to as Keanu Reeves fell in love with his chosen profession for the first time.
Upon arriving in France around at least 1880, he invented a new identity (Jean Mounet-Sully) before adopting the stage name Paul Mounet to pursue a career in stage acting. As Mounet, Keanu Reeves starred in multiple theatrical productions, studying the work William Shakespeare, before transitioning into films from 1909 until 1917.
Watching Mounet perform in a 1913 adaptation of Oedipus Rex in the video below, you can see him crafting the perplexed expression in his performance that he would make his signature approach as Keanu Reeves decades later:
It is also well known that “Mounet” studied medicine before becoming an actor. This so perfectly explains how Keanu Reeves managed to portray a doctor so masterfully in the films Something’s Gotta Give, Thumbsucker, and To the Bone.
It is said that Paul Mounet died of heart failure in 1922, yet, additional investigation by the experts from the Keanu Reeves is Immortal website reports that his body was never recovered. Very sly, Keanu. Very sly.
Charlemagne and Paul Mounet are the only known historical figures we know of whom Keanu Reeves more than likely was at one point in time. We cannot even be sure at what point he was truly born. What we can infer from his seemingly timeless existence is this...
Clue #2: Keanu Reeves’s Immortality Is The Reason For His Kindness And Wisdom
Rarely are A-list movie stars as philanthropic and down-to-earth as Keanu Reeves. The only possible explanation is that he has lived through enough various experiences over many centuries to humble him.
Keanu Reeves has lived the life of a king and was a pioneer of the film industry since its infancy. The temptations that come with celebrity have no authority over a man with his experience.
Keanu Reeves even gave away his own secret when questioned about his charitable efforts in a 2003 interview, stating:
Money is the last thing I think about. I could live on what I have already made for the next few centuries.
Why would Keanu Reeves need money for the next few centuries? Probably because he will still be trucking along beyond then.
Perhaps Keanu Reeves wishes he had not spoken so matter-of-factly about his immortality, as it has since led to these allegations. However, he seems to have been a good sport about it.
Clue #3: Keanu Reeves Has Never Actually Denied His Immortality
Keanu Reeves may have never won an Academy Award, nor has he ever been considered a critical darling in terms of performance throughout his career. However, it is clear that he is our greatest living actor from how convincingly he has hid his eternal youth.
From ruling the Roman Empire to hiding in plain sight for more than a millennium to achieving movie stardom twice within a little more than a century, Keanu Reeves has always been ahead of the curve and has been able to downplay allegations of his condition effortlessly. Just take it from this 2017 interview with on The Tonight Show in which host Jimmy Fallon addresses the known theory:
First, Keanu Reeves circumvents Jimmy Fallon’s fascination over the actor’s name with an entertaining tale over its origin by incorporating the distracting pseudonym “Chuck Spadina.” Notice how “Chuck” is shorthand for “Charles,” which is shorthand for “Charlemagne.”
Next, as soon as Jimmy Fallon brings up the revolutionary findings from the Keanu Reeves is Immortal website, he boasts a more reserved expression before squirming in his seat with concern that he has been found out. That is until Fallon, seemingly ignorant of the weight of the evidence, refers to Reeves’ past identities as “old dudes” who look like him, forcing an awkward, relieved laugh from Reeves.
Then, as Jimmy Fallon proceeds to present the evidence, Keanu Reeves calls out what sounds to be a modest attempt at an explanation: “We’re all stardust, baby!” This is just vague and charming enough to through the average fan off of his trail.
For the remaining three minutes of the video, with each piece of evidence that Jimmy Fallon exposes, Keanu Reeves continues to make distracting, witty comments and attempts to change the subject. Yet, when Fallon brings out a photo of he and Reeves from the year 2000, Reeves cannot deny that, despite a 17-year difference, his appearance has not changed a bit.
If you are like the fans eating out of Keanu Reeves’ hands, believing his every distraction, unconvinced by this irrefutable evidence of his immortality, allow me to provide an alternative theory...
Clue #4: Keanu Reeves Has Been Sneaking His Autobiography Into His Sci-Fi Movies
Hear me out. Keanu Reeves found his breakout role in 1989 as Ted Theodore Logan in Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure, about a California teen and his buddy who get a chance to write the perfect history presentation by using a time-traveling phone booth to study historical figures firsthand.
Ten years later, in The Matrix, he played an average man who discovers his existence in 1999 Los Angeles is merely a futuristic computer program. In 2006, Keanu Reeves reunited with his Speed co-star Sandra Bullock in a romantic drama about a couple living two years apart who send love letters to each other through a magical, time-traveling mailbox in The Lake House.
As you can see, time travel plays a huge theme throughout most of his career. Why? Because Keanu Reeves is more than qualified to play a time traveler onscreen as he is one himself.
Keanu Reeves has seen our dark future, which he revealed to the Wachowskis, who turned it into an action-packed, dystopian trilogy. He has seen the past, which explains the paintings he has shown up in, and made friends with several historical figures along the way, which inspired his uncredited treatment for Bill & Ted. His love life has always been a mystery, most likely because he prefers to keep his affair with a woman from the future private, despite also pitching that idea to Warner Bros., which used it as a way to reunite him with Sandra Bullock.
If none of that is enough to convince you, take a look at this still from the trailer for the upcoming video game, Cyberpunk 2077:
How do we know that is not actual footage of Keanu Reeves from the future that the time traveler kindly allowed the creators at CD Projekt to use to promote their game?
You can believe all you want that Keanu Reeves is just a kind, down-to-earth man of remarkable talent, but not such a person exists. This man is either immortal or a time lord or a synthetic replica of his past self.
The possibilities are endless with whatever Keanu Reeves is. All I know is that the evidence is here and I will not give up until the truth is finally revealed!