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You never know what sort of moviemaking goodies are going to go up on the auction block on any given day. Whether it be the Batpod from The Dark Knight, the original R2-D2 from Star Wars or even an original story treatment for a proposed prequel to A Nightmare on Elm Street, you could be moments away from purchasing something really cool for your personal collection. However, you’re equally as likely to purchase something truly horrific, like, say, a foam head model for Michael Chiklis’ visage as The Thing in director Tim Story’s version of Marvel’s Fantastic Four. Seriously, it’s terrifying to look at, and you’re about to get a load of the horror below:
Seriously, I think my soul just hid in a remote corner of the room. Found floating around on eBay, the Fantastic Four “collectable” is just a head piece to Chiklis’ full body suit as Ben Grimm’s superpowered, very rocky self. What’s even worse is, according to the listing, those creepy eyes in the mask “are not fixed directly to the mask.” Meaning if you’re not careful, you’ll have an eyeless face of The Thing staring straight into your soul. It’s hard to tell if that’s better or worse, to be honest.
Currently sitting at roughly $4,800, The Thing head piece from Fantastic Four is not a negative reflection on Michael Chiklis himself. Even when you look at Chiklis wearing the prosthetic, it doesn’t look that freaky. But looking at that head, disembodied from the rest of its suit, with those way too comic accurate eyes? It’s the stuff Josh Trank wishes he could have put into his 2015 borderline body horror reboot.
Some things were not meant to be sold into the world, like cursed ancient tomes or other artifacts that carry heavy cosmic costs on their existence. This head from Fantastic Four’s The Thing is a prime example of such an artifact that needs to be locked up in a private collection, with a spell binding its energy in a unique location. Failing all containment methods, it should at least be acquired by a prankster who isn’t afraid of using it to scare random strangers and celebrity guests for a YouTube series. Another option could be to sell that head back to Disney as an incentive to making Michael Chiklis’ wish to play The Thing again come true.
Seriously, if you’re looking to own a piece of Fantastic Four history, head over to the auction page and purchase it at once! There’s only one available, and it’s a “Buy It Now” transaction, so there’s no competition except to see who can open their wallet fastest. And if you end up buying this cursed relic, may the spirit of Stan Lee preserve you, as you’ll probably need all the help you can get sleeping with this terror in your house.